Part 3 – How to Customize One-on-Ones for High Performers and Low Performers

This is the third in a three-part series on one-on-ones and situational leadership. In the first post, we explored why one-on-ones are where situational leadership happens. In the second post, we introduced the people list: six questions to help you manage one person at a time.

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Now let’s look at how to use that tool with two very different kinds of employees: your high performers and your lower performers.

The mistake too many managers make is using the same approach with everyone. They give high performers too little management attention because they seem to be doing fine. They give lower performers vague feedback because they do not want to be too directive. Then they wonder why high performers feel neglected, and lower performers fail to improve.

That is not situational leadership. Situational leadership means tuning in to what each person needs from you, what you need from them, and what kind of conversation will help that person do more work, better, and faster.

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High performers need leaders, too

Do not fool yourself into thinking your best people do not need you.

High performers usually want a manager who knows who they are, knows what they are doing, and is in a position to help them do more, better, faster. They want a manager who can help clear obstacles, secure resources, keep track of their success, and avoid unnecessary problems. In fact, high performers often have very high expectations of their managers.

They are likely thinking: “You are my manager. You had better be really good at this.” That does not mean they want you hovering over their shoulder. It does not mean they want to be micromanaged. But it does mean they want to know that you are paying attention and that your attention is useful.

With high performers, the one-on-one should not disappear. It should evolve.

Give high performers more influence over the conversation

When you are managing a high performer, give that person more power to help shape the one-on-one.

Ask them:

• What should we focus on in our one-on-ones?
• What are you trying to get better at right now?
• What obstacles can I help remove?
• What resources do you need?
• What questions do you need to ask me?
• What should I be asking you?

You may want the high performer to come to you with a punch list and lead part of the conversation. You may ask more questions than you answer. You may focus less on basic execution and more on priorities, problem-solving, growth opportunities, and what you can learn from their success.

High performers often know a great deal about what is working on the front lines. Learn from them. Ask them to show you the systems, habits, and techniques that are helping them succeed.

But do not abdicate your role. You are still the manager. You still need to make priorities clear. You still need to align the person’s work with the larger mission. You still need to make sure the person is not overextended, under-supported, or quietly becoming frustrated.

High performers need attention, too. They just need the right kind of attention.

Lower performers need more structure, not less

With lower performers, the manager usually has to take more responsibility for the conversation.

Some lower performers do not want more management. They want less.

• Ask them when they want to meet, and the honest answer might be: “never.”
• Ask whether they want feedback, and the answer might be: “No thanks.”
• Ask whether they want to be held accountable based on performance, and they might prefer to be treated exactly like everyone else, regardless of results.

That is why you cannot let the lower performer design the management relationship. You have to be more explicit about the why, what, how, where, and when.

• Why are you meeting with this person?
• What do they need to get better at right now?
• What is your message?
• How should you talk with them?
• Where should the conversation happen?
• When should you follow up?

The lower the performance, the more important it is to make the conversation concrete.

Focus on one thing at a time

You cannot fix everything all at once. If someone is struggling with attitude, productivity, quality, and self-management, do not try to address all four in one conversation. Pick one thing. Start there. Maybe the person needs to speed up. Maybe they need to slow down and improve first-time quality. Maybe they need to show up prepared. Maybe they need to take better notes. Maybe they need to use a checklist. Maybe they need to communicate with more professionalism.

Choose one concrete behavior or habit and focus the one-on-one around that.

Your message may need to be very explicit:

• Here is what I need you to do.
• Here is how I need you to do it.
• Here are the steps.
• Here is what good performance looks like.
• Here is when we will follow up.

Then ask the person to walk you through the plan.

Not: “Do you understand?”

That question is too easy to answer with a yes.

Instead, ask:

• What steps are you going to follow?
• How are you going to get started?
• What might get in your way?
• What will you do if that happens?
• Show me your checklist.

That is how you get a reality check.

Meet more often for shorter conversations

Most people do better with shorter, more frequent one-on-ones. That is especially true when someone is struggling. A long meeting every other week may not be enough to change behavior. The person leaves with a list of things to improve, but by the next conversation, too much time has passed.

Short, focused conversations make it easier to course-correct early. They also make accountability feel like a process, not a surprise.

Fair does not mean treating everyone the same

Some managers worry that customizing their approach is unfair. Fair does not mean treating everyone exactly the same. Fair means giving each person the management they need to succeed and holding everyone accountable for their own performance.

Your high performer may need more autonomy and a more strategic conversation.

Your lower performer may need more direction and a more detailed conversation.

One person may need more frequent follow-up. Another may need more space between meetings. One person may need help building a checklist. Another may need help thinking through a stretch assignment. That is the whole point of one-on-ones. They allow you to manage one person at a time.

Use the people list to calibrate your approach

Make a list of your direct reports.

For each person, ask:

• Who is this person at work?
• Why do I need to manage this person right now?
• What is my message, or what questions should I be asking?
• How should I talk with this person?
• Where should the conversation happen?
• When should we talk, and how often?

Then pick one person at the high end of the performance spectrum and another at the low end. Run both through the people list.

That is how you turn one-on-ones into situational leadership.