Sometimes when I tell managers, "You need to talk like a performance coach," they'll say to me, "Look, I'm not going to walk around my workplace saying ‘rah, rah, rah.'"

Here's the good news: You do not need to say, 'rah, rah' in order to talk like a performance coach.

Back in the ‘90s, we did a bunch of research to figure out: How do the most effective managers really talk to their people?

At first we were very frustrated because we found that every single manager has his or her own style. What we did was we looked for managers who had high productivity, high quality, high turnover among low performers and low turnover among high performers. And these managers were also described by their direct-reports as 'one of the best managers I ever had.' We wanted to figure out: What do these managers have in common? And every one of them had her own style. But we learned that they had two things in common.

The first thing they had in common was this: They had lots of one-on-one discussions with their direct-reports about the individual performance of that employee. One manager said to me, "What makes me the performance coach is simply this: I'm the one who talks to you about your performance every day. That's what makes me the performance coach." That's the first thing that these managers had in common.

The second thing is this: They all have their own style, but they all used a certain kind of language. That was descriptive language as opposed to naming language. They didn't say, "You're too slow" they said, "You missed the following deadline."

Think of it this way: Imagine if you were running down the field and a coach was running behind you saying, "You're too slow, you're too slow!" And you might look over your shoulder and say, "I know I'm slow, gosh I'm trying to run faster." And the coach might say, "Run faster, run faster." And you say, "Gosh, I'm trying." That's not helpful. That's just irritating.

What a coach does, if he or she is effective, is this: The coach runs behind you and says, "Your arms are flailing, pull your elbows in. Your head is rocking from side to side, tuck your chin. Get your eyes up. Pick your knees up. Your feet are scuffling. Pick your knees up with every step." See: That's descriptive language and that's helpful. You say, "Oh that's how to run faster. Now that helps me."

You do not need to say, 'rah, rah' to talk like a performance coach. All you need to do is have lots of one-on-one conversations with your direct-reports about their individual performance. And then you need to describe, describe, describe the performance you're seeing and describe, describe, describe the performance you want to see next.

If you don't like the idea of a performance coach, think about talking like a teacher. Describe, describe, describe, break things down and spell things out every step of the way.

BONUS MANAGEMENT BEST PRACTICE
Regarding every single person you manage, regularly ask and answer for yourself: "How do I need to talk to this person?"
- Think about what motivates this person.
- Figure out what tone and style work best.
- Most employees respond best to verbal communication supported by visual aids in writing.
- Choose the right communication tools and techniques for each person.